Post by Stefan [GM] on Jan 10, 2011 15:21:31 GMT -7
Our very first RP session ever. We played SR, the adventure called "Food Fight". After the gang came in and tried to took over the store, we rolled initiative and the when it was the hacker's turn, this happened...
Hacker: "Okay. I'll draw my weapon, ready it and kick the table in front of me towards the girl with the shotgun. Then I'll take cover behind said table and shoot."
GM: "Well, that's a bit too much for one turn." (then we explained the actions one can do in a turn)
Hacker: "Right. So I'll draw and ready my weapon, jump behind the aisle as cover, aim for the girl and shoot."
GM, still patient: "Let's go over this one more time."
Hacker: "Okay, okay. So: draw and ready weapon and shoot the girl. Than kick over the table and take cover and shoot the other guy at the counter."
Now the GM starts to lose his patients...
Hacker: "Okay, I'll draw my weapon and do nothing..."
How Malkav tried to take over Renton to build his own castle in Seattle:
First, he would fence in the district with chicken fence, 6 feet tall. He did the math, and the price for the fence seemed reasonable. Now, how to flatten out the entire district to make room for his castle.
"Okay. I'll build a super-magnet to change the course of the comet, Halley, so it will hit the Swiss-Bank satellite. The satellite then will fall down to earth, right into the meeting of the anonymous aircraft carriers. Thanks to the pressure behind the hit, they will be thrown into the air, right towards Renton. The resulting crash will make them explode and flatten Renton, so I can start putting up my fence. Just need to take care of some details. Can have the calculator again?"
How to take over the world, one step at a time...
"Alright. First we build a time machine and stop Howling Coyote and his dance. This will make sure, no crazy magical threat of any kind will hinder us. Than we go to Germany, fuck Lofwyr for the hell of it. Than we'll save Dunkelzahn from himself, so he will help us to take out the Troll-gang SHARKS and then we'll take over Atzlan!"
GM: "Ok, drunk as hell, you spend the entire night with this elf slut. Well, let's roll Edge for the hell of it to find out if she gets pregnant.
Stefan: "Bullshit! For cases like this, I shot two bullets of 9mm straight through my testicles!"
The big bad troll, only known as Dead Meat woke up one day and lost all his memory.
Dead Meat: "Hm... I have pointy ears. I must be an Elf! Wait! I have a beard, I'm strong and bulky and can take a hit or two ... I've got to be a Dwarf!"
Then he went to leave the room, he woke up in, just to hit his head on the header of the door frame.
Dead Meat: "Ouch ... a very big dwarf, I guess..."
The two chummers ended up in a haunted house, where now a puddle of blood pools through underneath the door.
Chummer1: "So, for what do you wanna bet, the puddle is gone when come back later?"
Chummer2: "For a new one!"
Later in the haunted house, the chummers find a corpse with a hand missing.
Chummer1: "Bet the hand is crawling around somewhere here?"
Chummer2: "No worries, we'll get a grip on it!"
One eve, the slightly crazed elf mage, known as Malkav, walks by an ally in Seattle, as suddenly a loud explosion is tearing through the street and a huge flame shoots out of the ally. The elf turns his head towards the ally, and says, "Fireworks. How neat." And walks away.
Offplay...
The GM tells the players that they have found a comlink.,
As always, the player of the Ork pretends AS PLAYER, that he takes the comlink and breaks it, not being ingame and trying to be a funny big bad strong Ork.
The GM looks around the room and says: "Well, the Ork just broke the comlink. I've got enough of this offplay bullshit!"
Other things said during play, but not related to the RP:
"Whats the perfect woman for you?"
"She's got cherry-flavored nipples."
"We are cultivated. We don't say tits, we say breasts. ...Or boobies! (followed by childish giggling)"
Guy yelling : "I can't find the way, I am lost!"
Other guy yelling back: "What, you've lost the game?"
Guy: "No! I AM lost!"
Other guy: "Follow your voice!"
"Well, I usually shower in the morning or in the evening."
"I prefer mornings. Wakes up and all."
"Well, if I shower in the morning, then ...I didn't in the evening."
And one of my favorites:
"Where can you get dice?"
Jessep as serious as always: "I think the Dice-store might have some."
Hacker: "Okay. I'll draw my weapon, ready it and kick the table in front of me towards the girl with the shotgun. Then I'll take cover behind said table and shoot."
GM: "Well, that's a bit too much for one turn." (then we explained the actions one can do in a turn)
Hacker: "Right. So I'll draw and ready my weapon, jump behind the aisle as cover, aim for the girl and shoot."
GM, still patient: "Let's go over this one more time."
Hacker: "Okay, okay. So: draw and ready weapon and shoot the girl. Than kick over the table and take cover and shoot the other guy at the counter."
Now the GM starts to lose his patients...
Hacker: "Okay, I'll draw my weapon and do nothing..."
How Malkav tried to take over Renton to build his own castle in Seattle:
First, he would fence in the district with chicken fence, 6 feet tall. He did the math, and the price for the fence seemed reasonable. Now, how to flatten out the entire district to make room for his castle.
"Okay. I'll build a super-magnet to change the course of the comet, Halley, so it will hit the Swiss-Bank satellite. The satellite then will fall down to earth, right into the meeting of the anonymous aircraft carriers. Thanks to the pressure behind the hit, they will be thrown into the air, right towards Renton. The resulting crash will make them explode and flatten Renton, so I can start putting up my fence. Just need to take care of some details. Can have the calculator again?"
How to take over the world, one step at a time...
"Alright. First we build a time machine and stop Howling Coyote and his dance. This will make sure, no crazy magical threat of any kind will hinder us. Than we go to Germany, fuck Lofwyr for the hell of it. Than we'll save Dunkelzahn from himself, so he will help us to take out the Troll-gang SHARKS and then we'll take over Atzlan!"
GM: "Ok, drunk as hell, you spend the entire night with this elf slut. Well, let's roll Edge for the hell of it to find out if she gets pregnant.
Stefan: "Bullshit! For cases like this, I shot two bullets of 9mm straight through my testicles!"
The big bad troll, only known as Dead Meat woke up one day and lost all his memory.
Dead Meat: "Hm... I have pointy ears. I must be an Elf! Wait! I have a beard, I'm strong and bulky and can take a hit or two ... I've got to be a Dwarf!"
Then he went to leave the room, he woke up in, just to hit his head on the header of the door frame.
Dead Meat: "Ouch ... a very big dwarf, I guess..."
The two chummers ended up in a haunted house, where now a puddle of blood pools through underneath the door.
Chummer1: "So, for what do you wanna bet, the puddle is gone when come back later?"
Chummer2: "For a new one!"
Later in the haunted house, the chummers find a corpse with a hand missing.
Chummer1: "Bet the hand is crawling around somewhere here?"
Chummer2: "No worries, we'll get a grip on it!"
One eve, the slightly crazed elf mage, known as Malkav, walks by an ally in Seattle, as suddenly a loud explosion is tearing through the street and a huge flame shoots out of the ally. The elf turns his head towards the ally, and says, "Fireworks. How neat." And walks away.
Offplay...
The GM tells the players that they have found a comlink.,
As always, the player of the Ork pretends AS PLAYER, that he takes the comlink and breaks it, not being ingame and trying to be a funny big bad strong Ork.
The GM looks around the room and says: "Well, the Ork just broke the comlink. I've got enough of this offplay bullshit!"
Other things said during play, but not related to the RP:
"Whats the perfect woman for you?"
"She's got cherry-flavored nipples."
"We are cultivated. We don't say tits, we say breasts. ...Or boobies! (followed by childish giggling)"
Guy yelling : "I can't find the way, I am lost!"
Other guy yelling back: "What, you've lost the game?"
Guy: "No! I AM lost!"
Other guy: "Follow your voice!"
"Well, I usually shower in the morning or in the evening."
"I prefer mornings. Wakes up and all."
"Well, if I shower in the morning, then ...I didn't in the evening."
And one of my favorites:
"Where can you get dice?"
Jessep as serious as always: "I think the Dice-store might have some."